Undercurrents

There are two parts of Anand constantly jostling for priority. I am one of them and I am writing this to you, the other.

You want to be a successful filmmaker. I want to make a good film.

I love cinema because It feeds my ego to know I can reach somewhere within a viewer and manipulate him. I crave that power over an audience. You crave their recognition.

You want to make money enough so that you can make your next film. I understand that completely. Even appreciate it. But I want to make just this one film assuming I'm going to die when it's done.

You need to feed your family. You need to have a career. I need to feed my ego. My megalomania.

You will inevitably survive, perhaps even succeed. I will live. Then, I will die.

So long my friend. I should hate you. But I cant. I don't care enough.